Dating with a disability
On dating other people with disabilities: Dating men with mobility impairments makes having physical contact a challenge.
With a wheelchair or two coming in between our physical bodies and separating us in physical distance, cuddling and holding hands while watching a movie or riding on the bus are impossible.
Her message to able-bodied daters: If you reject someone because of their disability, you could be rejecting the next Beethoven, who was deaf and made such beautiful music that we still play it today.
The mantra wants disabled daters to know: I’m invoking Elsa here, but “Let it go.” I’ve met so many disabled people who think there’s no way a non-disabled person will ever be interested in them or that a non-disabled person will never truly accept them, period. You’ll also find people who don’t but those people aren’t worth your time. I've been in one serious relationship (it lasted about a year) since I began dating.
But many able-bodied daters may not know how to approach someone with a disability or what to avoid when asking a disabled person out. We talked to five people with disabilities and asked them about dating ups and downs, tips for other daters with disabilities, and what able-bodied people can do differently in relationships.
Here’s what they said: Name: Ariella Barker, 35City: Charlotte, North Carolina Disability: Spinal Muscular Atrophy Job: Attorney, former law professor, Ms. How she approaches disability and dating: In my opinion, we all have a disability in some way.
[There were] men who saw me as someone they could use for a green card or my money.
I even married a man I desperately loved, [who] immediately pressured me to apply for his green card and when he became impatient [waiting for it], emptied my bank account, maxed out my credit cards to the tune of ,000, bought a one-way ticket back to his home country with my credit card, and ransacked my apartment while I was in a deposition one day.